The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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