Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He better not be in your backpack
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize