What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize