I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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