someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize