You work out of a Hotel?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize