Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize