i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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