Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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