I bet he comes in French.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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