HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
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my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
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You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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