she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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