Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I am midnight drunk by noon
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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