life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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