We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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