Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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