...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too much gin, very little bucket
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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