Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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