Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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