Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm way too hungover for life right now
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize