it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
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where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
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You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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