and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize