kristin has been a bad kristin
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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