I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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