i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
now i know why i became what i already was.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
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I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
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THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize