You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize