fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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