just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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