Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
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I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
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My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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