Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
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I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
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This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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