I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
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