My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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