I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
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he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
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Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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