You're completely useless in the revolution.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
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She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
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Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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