i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
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you dipped you banana in queso last night.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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