My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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