go do what you do best...puke behind churches
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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