Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize