No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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