my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
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Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
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Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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