i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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