I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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