she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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