This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
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Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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