The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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