Im at strip club and am horny
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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