if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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