I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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