I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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