I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You took a bar mat shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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